Since November I have seen more “Queer Joy” content than ever. “Have it” … “Get it” … “Be it” …
I’ll be honest, WTF does this even mean? CoolCoolCool… I will just CHOOSE to be joyful whilst living under a tyrannical regime that has used me as a political pawn to tap into the bigotry that is baked into our society for their own megalomaniacal financial and power gain.
Ssssuuuurrrre. I’m so on that (insert eye roll here). Don’t mind me over here manifesting joy (she says in a cloud of smoke scented with the faint smell of vodka)
The thing is – joy isn’t just a choice. It’s something we insist on. We work for. We seek, find, and take. It’s not passive. It’s work.
THE WORK
Celebrating Identity
AFFIRMATION
Find what makes you feel powerful! What helps you embrace who you are? What honors your queerness? Here are some suggestions for finding your power:
🌈Create a mantra (or 2 or 10) that you repeat to yourself daily
🌈Express your love and appreciation for others AND for yourself
🌈Strengthen your friendships – call to check in more, get together more, send notes/letters
🌈Curate a playlist of the songs that make you FEEL the power!
🌈Journal your victories, moments of magic, the times that you feel belonging and warmth
🌈Create or collect queer art – Fill your safe space with things that bring you joy and remind you of who you are.
BUILD YOUR COMMUNITY
Don’t just meet people. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Here’s how:
🌈Take time to understand your own values and beliefs. Know yourself so you can share your authentic self with others
🌈Attend events, parties, gatherings of like-minded people, sports teams (if that’s your thing), clubs, volunteer groups
🌈Join organizations – on and offline
🌈If you can’t find what you are looking for – create it! Guaranteed there are others like you looking for the same thing you are! You can do game nights, movie nights, potlucks…use your beautiful imagination.
🌈Be open to starting a conversation
🌈Pay attention to what others have to say and show true interest in their stories
🌈*** Be open to the perspective and lived experience of others. Embrace the diversity within the community and be open to learning from others! Haters want to divide! Don’t let them.
PRACTICE SELF-ACCEPTANCE/COMPASSION/CARE
I know…blahblahblah, right? Here me out. In the immortal words of Moira Rose “If airplane safety videos have taught me anything, David, it’s that a mother puts her own mask on first”. Care for self, despite how cliché the sentiment has become, truly is the most important thing we can do to survive the struggle of being human. Here’s a short list on how:
🌈Respond to yourself with the same warmth, understanding, and kindness – After all- why is the bar so high for you and not for others?
🌈Set boundaries that protect your spirit – You are not beholden to anyone who makes you feel like shit!
🌈Surround yourself with trusted others (see “Build Your Community”)
🌈Allow yourself to FEEL. Cry. Rage. Be confused. Grieve. You are human! BE human and allow yourself to believe that that is OK!
🌈Strengthen your self-soothing skills. Whether it’s meditation, a rage room, or dancing it out, find what works for you and use it.
🌈Write yourself love letters. (Yes, I’m serious.)
Finding your own flavor of queer joy is nuanced. I understand that. And some of what I said here may resonate with you, but you still feel hesitant and you’re not sure why. Reach out. You can email, call, or text any of the therapists at 53C if you are interested in therapy, or you just want to ask some questions. We want to help you find your joy.
